Transparency: Coming Out as Gay or Coming Out as Straight

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day. I’m not sure if Christians even realized it because of the Presidential Facebook craziness occurring all over social media. Those who are GAY wrote a little about how proud they are about coming out and announcing to the world they are gay. They are affirming of same sex relationships and want to be in one.

I see it a little different. I see men and women announcing to the world they need to be loved by same sex humans.

Now when I hear someone say, “I am gay.” What I really hear the heart say is,

“I really need the love of another human that is the same sex as I am.”

I wonder how do Christians hear it?

Do they only hear this?

“They just want to have sex with the same sex.”

“They are just horny sinful humans.”

“They are not saying no to their sin.”

As I hear more and more gay affirming folks share their story, they all have one thing in common.  There was a point where they felt completely hopeless and thought they were going to kill themselves because they felt disconnected from the Church, their friends, their family, and GOD. "What is the point of living if I can't be loved, liked, pursued?"

Most GAY Christians have a question to deal with before they actually tell people they are GAY.

Is being in a same sex relationship sinful or not?

Once they decide it is not sinful, they announce to their community they are GAY!  Through that announcement they feel they can really be themselves, they are more open to being loved by the same sex, especially in a romantic way, and they find a Christian community that affirms that belief.

Or if they decide it is sinful, they keep their attraction to the same sex a secret until they can trust a fellow Christian about this. Even then there is no guarantee that they will be loved properly. Which a lot of these Christians are currently in right now, a state of darkness keeping a secret that weighs the weight of their humanity because they don't know if people would still like them or not.

I believe National Coming Out Day is a very important day for many Christians who deal with being attracted to the same sex.

They are constantly asking themselves “What am I suppose to do with my attraction and deep longing to be loved by the same sex through touch, time, transparency, and Teamwork.”

“What if my friends find out I am attracted to them. Would they still like me? Would they hangout with me? Would they treat me differently? Would they think I am always lusting after them because they are always lusting after girls.”

When someone says “They struggle with homosexuality” especially if it is their first time, they are doing one of the most courageous actions a human can do right now.

With Christians being aggressively against gay marriage, which indirectly creates homophobia too, and the gay community being aggressively against the Church, someone who is trying to confess to another Christian they struggle with homosexuality might see this tension as a sign to keep a very heavy burden a secret so they don’t upset anyone.

But we all know that is unhealthy.

It is painful.

It causes death.

Literally, people commit suicide over this stuff.

If you struggle with homosexuality, I encourage you to share this very important part of your life with a trustworthy friend, family member, pastor, etc.

I know it can be very scary, but it is so worth it at the end.

You don't need to “COME OUT.”

Find someone and just have coffee with them or something. Write a letter. Explain your feelings, the pain, and fear you may have. Especially the shame. Shame can really mess with your mind.

We all need to be loved and be taken care of. Surprisingly straight people need to be loved as well. They have deep sinful, painful, secrets of their own.

We need to be more transparent with each other. We need to share our insecurities, sinfulness, goals, ideas of pursing God's Kingdom, etc.

If you are married, don't buy into the lie your spouse is the only person you need to depend on. That is a very dangerous relationship.

You need to come out too!

You also need to be loved by people of the Same Sex.

You also need the 4T's.

You need Touch by people of the same sex. (hugs, long hugs, hugs again, kisses, etc.)

You need Time with people of the same sex. ( you need to be invested in by others, not just your wife)

You need to be Transparent with people of the same sex because they can call your crap out.

You need to be in a Team because marriage and being in a dating relationship is not what you are called to be in as a Christian. You are called to engage in your eternal covenant with your Church family.

If you are straight


“I need to be loved by the Church”

“I need to be known by the Church”

“I need to be taken care of by those of the same sex at Church”

“Just like my brothers and sisters who struggle with homosexuality, I too need to be loved by my same sex Christian family the way Christ loves the Church”

"I'm coming out!"