During the time I lived in the dorms at Biola, I was in an extreme pursuit of learning as much as I can about the subculture of the Christian life and its views concerning homosexuality. Not just at Biola, but at the various churches I would attend and the many pastors I had conversations with concerning homosexuality.
To my surprise, many Christians didn't understand what it actually meant to be attracted to the same sex. Even though I was a Christian who believed sexual acts between the same sex was sinful and lived in a loving community of Christians, many of my close friends, professors, and pastors didn't understand what was actually going on in my mind and in the lives of hundreds of other Christians who struggle with this. There was an idea they had that anyone who is attracted to the same sex wanted to see everyone they are attracted to naked, give them a blowjob, or do something lustful. And I can assure you, that is not the case.
I hope I can adequately offer a clear understanding of what it means to be attracted to the same sex as a Christian who believes homosexuality is not a part of God's creativity for sex and friendship. I want to clear up any wrong ideas and affirm any correct ideas Christians may have concerning the type of attraction those of us in the Church have towards the same sex.
First, for those of us who are attracted to the same sex, we don't want to see everyone naked. We don't want to have sex with everyone, and we are not lusting after every person we are attracted too. We simply find the same sex attractive. We can see beauty in the same sex. I'm sure most men can identify what men are attractive (Chris Pratt, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Matt Damon, Eddie Redmayne, Scott Eastwood, David Clark thinks Jimmy Garopollo is) and who is not. In today's culture, it is acceptable for women to acknowledge who is "hot" whether they are gay or not. But for men, it's not the same, men will not talk about what men are "hot" because they don't want to be associated with something they are not, gay, as if gay men are the only men who can identify which men are attractive. Since I admire athleticism, I find soccer players and clean-cut guys with blonde hair and blue eyes with a six pack pretty attractive. I think the ancient Greeks and I had the same idea of what an attractive man is. The male and female body is a beautiful work of Art. I'm sure God is attracted to both of them. Let's dive more into the goodness of being attracted to another human and learn how to discipline our bodies that want more than what it is given.
Second, because we are sinful and for many other psychological reasons, we want to experience sexual pleasure with the same sex. And why not have that with someone you are attracted too? I admit it, I want to have sex with the same sex, especially soccer players. Why I want to deserves another explanation.
Third, being attracted to someone and lusting after someone are two completely different states of mind. I cannot choose who I am attracted too (I believe this occurs because of many psychological conditionings that occurs within one's life), it just happens. I just identify who I think is attractive based off of a simple view of another person. Now, for those in the gay community, they say they are "born this way." I wish they can be more accurate by explaining there is a difference between being attracted to someone and wanting to have sex with someone they are attracted too. (I will address this again)
Fourth, I believe a biblical understanding of lust has to do with wanting something that is against the boundaries of God's plan for his creation. Lucifer allowed lust to come into his being when he wanted to be higher than God, Adam and Eve allowed lust to come into their being when they ate of the forbidden fruit, and we sexually lust after humans when we fantasize about having sex with each other if it is outside the boundaries of marriage. The want to have sex with another human is not evil, it's how we think about it and how we implement that is when it becomes evil.
When the gay community states "God made us this way," they believe their attraction and want to have sex with the same sex is something they don't choose, which I would agree with especially when it comes to the fact that we are attracted to who we are attracted too, choice is not always a part of attraction. When they say "God made them this way" and they are referring to sex, I think they are confusing attraction with their want to have sex with the same sex which then becomes a lustful evil.
One of the arguments that come up concerning the sexual orientation of humans is that "we should be allowed to have sex with consenting humans that we are attracted to" As a follower of Jesus, I believe that is straight up wrong. Our attraction toward other humans does not give us an ethical code that gives us permission to have sex with them. The privilege of having sex with other humans comes from the creator of the humans and his plan and purpose for that. It's God's rules, not whatever our human conditioning (physically and emotionally) has done to us sexually.
Lastly, for those of us in the church that find the same sex attractive, we want Godly, biblical, healthy, same-sex intimacy, and Jesus grants us that blessing in his New Covenant and the Church is obligated to meet that. We are not lusting, we are just simply longing for intimacy. We want to know those that we are attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We also want to know others that we are not attracted to. We want to know them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We want to be touched and hugged. We want to spend time with you guys and look into your eyes and hear your heart concerning whatever passions you have in life. We want to engage in spiritual brotherhood and sisterhood. We want to know you physically. We may be attracted to your body but that does not mean we are lusting after you. We want to play sports with you guys and hit the showers. Go skinny dipping or streaking. We want to have pillow talk with you. Or go get drinks and talk nonsense. We just want to be one of the guys. We are simply Christians attracted to the same sex. And we want to love those in the church in the most Godly, healthy, intimate ways we can, which is through deep friendship.
We who are attracted to the same sex want to love the Church
The way Christ loves the Church.