The 4T's


Hello there!

My name is Richard.  Thank you for giving me the chance to influence you a little.  I'm sure for those of you on social media it's quite boring now to see blog after blog talk about gay marriage, Christians in relation to the gay community, etc.  If you add the numerous amount of negative combative Facebook conversations, I'm sure this can add more frustration to an already played out conversation.  I'm sure my own Facebook account adds to that.  I'm sorry for that.  I hope this blog site can be more than that though.

However, when it comes to this site, I will talk about the 4T's and why I believe it is essential to give these T's to people in the church, especially those who struggle with homosexuality.  For quite some time Christians have only been hearing biblical lectures about the immorality of gay relationships. They haven't been hearing how to PRACTICALLY love Christians who are attracted to the same sex who believe it is wrong to act out their sexual desires.

And this is why I created this site.  To give the Church an opportunity to understand the life of a Christian who struggles with homosexuality and give practical examples on how a Christian can love a fellow Christian who is attracted to the same sex.

And I am starting with the 4T's - TOUCH, TIME, TRANSPARENCY, and TEAMWORK

The site already has some content concerning the 4T's.  Each blog will be related to a T and then I will have a follow-up blog with a post from my friends who experience these T's with me.

And I want to make sure I communicate this well, the 4T's is not some kind of cure I believe in that takes away same sex attraction or anything like that.  Only the Holy Spirit can sanctify us through Church community and whatever means he sees fit.  What I do believe is that the 4T's is a great way of establishing the intimacy that us who struggle with homosexuality desperately long for from our Church family.  

And it has to start with the Church offering them to us.

We need long hugs. We need shoulders to cry on. Arms to relax in as we watch a movie. Quality time, affection specific to us, vulnerability, etc.

We want the Church to know we will be attracted to some of you guys, but please still accept us after the fact. Don't be afraid of us.

We will not violate you, and if we do, please forgive us.

We are not looking for a romantic relationship with the same sex, but if we fall into an eros form of love, please have grace on us and lead us out of it with grace and love.  Please have some compassion on us.  Walk with us, please don't leave.  

We are simply trying to make it through the halls of the churches trying to sit in the seats of big sanctuaries full of Christians that seem to understand only their straight theology and lifestyle.

We just want to make it to the great day of the Lord when we will be glorified like Christ.


that is not the only plan God has in store for us.  He wants Christians who struggle with homosexuality to intimately know our fellow Christian brothers and sisters, whether we are attracted to them or not.  He wants us to thrive in the Christian community and be leaders who run churches.  He wants us to be in the lives of families and give selflessly to others.  He wants us to serve you breakfast, have lunch, sit around the dinner table with you guys.  Help raise your children.  He expects a lot from us.

But he also expects a lot from those that have the sinful sexual orientation of heterosexuality.  He knows they also need their sexuality and idolization of marriage to be made new.  Made into something better.  He wants the Church to touch those that need touch the way Christ touched others.  He wants the Church to give quality time in such a way that it breaks social boundaries, sort of how Jesus did with women in the gospels.  He wants the Church to be vulnerable with others the way Jesus was on the cross with all the sinners and disciples.

He expects those that struggle with homosexuality and those that struggle with heterosexuality to love each other the way Christ loved the Church

Selflessly with love for God and others

Please venture into the 4T's with me and ask yourself what are you willing to give up to help a fellow brother or sister who is attracted to the same sex, a Christian that might even be attracted to you.

Will you TOUCH us? Will you spend quality TIME with us? Will you be TRANSPARENT with us?

Will you let us be a part of the TEAM?

I pray and hope you say YES!

It is a Yes to loving us and a yes to allowing us to love you. (In very practical ways)