“The more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus Christ and his work become the one and only thing that is vital between us. We have one another only through Christ, but through Christ we do have one another, wholly, and for all eternity.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
The 3 other T's (Touch, Time, and Transparency) will only be successful if done within the context of teamwork or community. This follows for all humans and their needs. The moment it becomes about 2 individuals meeting each others needs, you become like the modern day American Marriage, having 50% risk of divorce. The idea one person can meet all your needs and "complete" you is a very unhealthy relationship.
For those of us that struggle with homosexuality, at times, we can become to needy for one person, but we also need to establish healthy intimacy with our friends and that requires one on one time too.
It is only within a church community and group of dedicated individuals, a group that will commit to someone who struggles with homosexuality, will a Christian who struggles with this go through healing as well as live a thriving Christian walk full of realistic love and fidelity with their fellow Church members. Having multiple faithful friends who will pursue us, the way Christ pursues the Church, will give us the reality that we are experiencing God's hands and feet.
Another very important factor is that within Teamwork there exist certain roles for each individual. Not every person will meet the same needs someone with same sex attraction has. I have friends that meet the different needs that are in my life. Some of my friends can handle that and others can't. Some of my friends know they play a more significant part in my life and know they need to be very intentional with me and thoughtful. If you find yourself with a friend who struggles with this, know your place and keep healthy boundaries within yourself and between you and your friend. Be honest. If you don't feel comfortable helping out, then don't and walk away. If this means you need to go work on your heart to love others more selflessly, then go and ask God for help and wisdom concerning this. Try not to hurt others along the way. Remember, the Holy Spirit is the one helping us, he just uses whoever wants to be used in the process. Be honest, know your boundaries, and ask God to help you be more like Christ, selfless. A friend who will die for others. A friend who will give up wants and desires to meet the needs of others.
Please love us like Christ loves the Church.
and give us the chance to love you back too
we are a TEAM